Twist Should Play in My League...

Have you ever said to yourself, "Hey, am I the only person who had sanctioned Friday Night spoon hockey in my parents house back in the day?" Well, I'm guessing you haven't said it. Because I just did a google search for "spoon hockey," and I found a sad sack of results. Here are the three categories they fell under.

1. Bonding exercises that take place in a rec room atop a Formica table. The one shown here is a Union University in Tenne-key. Do these kids look like they're having fun? I'd say maybe, but only because they're about ready to have the four most bangtastic years of their lives.

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2. The second variation is played in the yard, also known as the "mommy and the milkman" version of the game. Apparently, you go outside to hit a wiffle ball on the ground with a spatula, breaking your back, while you see the milkman slip inside until the Third Period. And if you don't hear the milkman enter the house, you'll at least hear a cocktail shaker.

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3. My version is only referenced once-in a Maple Leaf's fan's LiveJournal. She seems to have a working knowledge of the game. For instance, you play knees-on-carpet. Pain is the name of the game, just like life. Also, forks to enable tricks and whatnot, but after too many heated exchanges and delays of game, forks can get messy real quickly. So stick to spoons or sporks. The way I remember it, ball selection is a no brainer (ping-pong ball), and slappers are still the best way to score.

Anyway, this is all relevant because at my new apartment I have a room that only has a rocking chair. Optimal spoon hockey real estate if you ask me. Also, I read this article at the RFT on Tony Twist. I like how the psychopath offers advice on the proper way to kill someone.

"You don't threaten them first..."

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