8/23/2006

Do the Evolution, 50 year old woman style!

Blog. Stupid word. You know why? Because if you go to a random blog you're going to find something about Little Miss Sunshine, Snakes on a Plane, or Gnarls Barkley. Not here. Today I'm just going to talk about an issue that would bring a tear of joy to both Oprah and Charles Darwin. Yep, you guessed it, MENOPAUSE!

So I'm reading The Third Chimpanzee. It's about how humans became humans, about that tiny little genetic bit, the 2% makes us do things like commit atrocities, create artistic masterworks and wear bucket hats. Okay, you got me, the book says nothing about bucket hats. I haven't read it all, but I think it's a safe assumption that the Pulitzer Prize-winning book doesn't go into Korn-inspired fashion.

The most interesting thing so far has been an investigation into menopause and how humans are one of only a couple species on earth to undergo menopause. I think some male kangaroo rat does too, oddly enough. The interesting thing was that the author of the book asserts that after menopause, women began having children earlier, and the children they had survived. In other words, before menopause, there was no biological clock.

Sex and the City? Try Sex and the Cave? It wouldn't have been a hit. What's the danger in waiting til you're 50 to crank 'em out back then, if you die, you were only going to live ten more years anyway. So what happened was our ancestors started reproducing earlier and multiplying like googles. The menopausal society knocked off the non-menopausal society, and look at where we are today.

PS The book told me that ducks commit rape though. Not cool, ducks.

PPS I was going to put up a picture of Sally Field but she seems to have found the fountain of youth. HGH? Botox?

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